What I've Learned As A Mother

I got an email from a new friend with a new baby who wrote "I have been overwhelmed and undersleeping. He is my first and I am clueless."

I thought, "Weren't we all?" 

Over the course of the last 26 years I have learned a few things ~
*  Never wake a sleeping baby.
*  Listen to your kids.  Even as babies, mine would communicate what they needed.  If I listened, it became easier to meet their needs.  It also eliminates the "mommy, mommy, mommy" chant in the grocery store.
*  I need to be the mom.  My kids will make lots of friends in their lifetime, but they only have one mom.  Much as I might want to be their friend, I have a different job in their life, at least til they're grown-ups.
*  Parents love their children.  Sometimes we just need to learn how to express it.  This book really helped!
*  Children love their parents and want to please them.
*  Sometimes when a kid knows they have done wrong they will feel so bad that yelling at them is overkill.
*  At some point every child will say, "I hate you Mommy."  Hope & pray that on that day you feel so calm that your only response is, "I'm sorry you feel like that.  I love you very much."
*  It's a wonderful thing to get the baby's father involved in their care.  If he dresses your girl all in green camouflage, be grateful he dressed her, and say thank you! 
*  If you're going to give your kids choices, be sure you are OK with whatever they pick!
 *  Sometimes the only thing to do is stop and pray.  

Does it get easier?  I don't know.  Eventually they sleep through the night.  Then they become college students and again want to be fed in the middle of the night.  Luckily you can tell 18 year olds to get their own food.

   Waking my daughter is still not a good thing.

Yelling at my son is still overkill. 

I wouldn't trade this experience for anything.  Being a mom is the very best thing gift I have ever been given.

Christmas Gift Tag Book

My daughter asked for the sweetest things for Christmas.  She's away from home this year, so, I made this little tag booklet, full of coupons for the things she wanted and had to order herself.   She likes things a little less over the top than I do, so I toned these tags down.

 

Glinda's Girl Soldiers

from Ozma of Oz

When I participated in Karla's Dorothy Tag Book swap, I ran across this great graphic.  I thought it would make cool bookmarks.  I like it equally well as the front of this gift tag booklet.

This stamp is part of a collection of snowflake clear stamps I purchased at Michaels this year.  I have been using it on everything -- tags, our Christmas card envelopes, etc.  The embossing power is called "Winter Wonderland," and depending on the stamp pad, is more, or less, opaque and nicely glittery!

My girl has a real passion for tap dancing.  Last summer at the Beantown Tap Fest, she saw cool new tap shoes worn by most of the instructors.  They have a heart on the heel.  Her Grammy, who is also a tap dancer, is giving these shoes.  This tag is a reminder to send her Grammy a thank you card!

I guess she can thank Grammy/my mom for more than the tap shoes.  Mom at 82, still taps in a group.  This Christmas they have already given 3 shows and I think they have 3 more scheduled in January.  Mostly they dance at retirement homes and care facilities for older people.  I'm so grateful my mom is active enough to be up on the stage and not in such a facility.  My daughter can be grateful for new shoes and the prospect of dancing for all her life!

The last coupon is for a haircut.  Now a haircut may seem an odd Christmas gift, but her funds are tight  and she loves a good visit to an Aveda salon.  A massage is part of their service, nice!

 

She's already gotten the haircut.  She called to say she loves the new salon and the cut is good.  We actually talked a long time about haircuts, new stylists (cheaper) vs experienced stylists (more expensive) tipping and how long it's been since her last haircut.

She moved to the west coast with a friend and we wanted to get something for him.  The two of them love going to the movies.  So, I asked what movie chain was near them.  Then I went to AAA and bought 2 booklets.  They can go to 5 movies together on us.  It's a gift I would have loved when I was first on my own.

The back of the tag booklet.

I had fun digging out my old rubber stamps for this project!

I cut pieces of colored vellum to fit between the tags -- to protect the tags and because it was pretty.  I had fun with stamps and colored pens and tape.  In fact I just had fun altogether putting this gift together.  I know she'll like the gifts.  I hope she likes the packet too.

Death to Plants

Our garden has been organic since we bought the house and almost 2 acres ten years ago.  By organic I mean we have not put any chemicals on it.  The delicate ecosystem that is Cape Cod is best if one doesn't add too much to the mix.

 It's probably why we produce such a bumper crop of dandelions each year!

 

But this particular bed has defeated all my good intentions!

The exposed dirt is where I have been digging:  removing weeds and vines and ivy.


 Sadly, whatever is in this bed does not agree with me.
I have tried all my usual healing methods.
So far I have determined I need to kill everything here or I will continue to be too cranky & itchy for words.

 

The garden bed on the other side of the brick patio is blooming!

It is still organic and agrees with me.

My son put in the patio last summer: Brick Path  &  More Bricks

I love the attention to detail he put into the brick-work.  He cut these wedges to fit all the little nooks and crannies.

  About 4 years ago my son cleared out the same bed that is giving me trouble and he had a similar reaction.  So, instead of either one of us digging, I went to the garden center.  They were actually nice when I said what I needed was "death to plants!"  They suggested Ortho Max.

It will probably look very awful when all this greenery dies.

 But I think it will look beautiful when I add garden furniture . . .

 an old ladder with potted plants (imagine the potted plants).

And these rusty pieces that need a little TLC.

Best pf all, I will be able to work there without cursing, crying or itching!

Summer Camp

This may be the last time I drive my daughter to summer camp.

She has been attending this camp since she was 9 years old, and now at 23 she thinks she'll do something else during the summers.

I love driving her to camp.
She talks to me about things that are important to her.
Sometimes I get to overhear cell phone conversations she has with her friends. I always get to know her just a bit better and if I don't inadvertently do something "mom-ish" we have a great time!

This trip was particularly fun.

We had planned to leave at 7 am, but the night before she asked if we could go later. She was ready to leave about 10 am, but knowing she was having doubts, I suggested a family game of cards. We rounded up her brother and dad and played cards for an hour. It was loads of fun + it made the leave taking calm and easy.

The trip is usually 8 hours. We made great time. We brought sandwiches for lunch. For dinner, she wanted a veggie burger at Red Robin. The 411 operator we got was in the very town we were traveling thru! She said yes there's a Red Robin and even gave us directions. I don't think that happens very often. My daughter thought it was very cool.

The next morning I drove her up to camp.

I'll imagine her for the next 6 weeks sitting on this dock ~ teaching swimming, supervising the other swim teachers, organizing free swim and getting tan.

I hope this last summer is as perfect as can be.

Proud Mama

Lobby, The Metropolitan

Opened in Boston 1925.

Now the Wang Theatre, this was the site of our daughter's college graduation last week. It is an amazing building.

On stage -- the college president, chairman of the board of trustees, faculty, commencement speaker, honored guests and our daughter, the valedictorian!

Her speech was wonderful! She spoke about the need to make connections and the unexpected treats in store when one does, using examples from her travels. She talked about the creativity of the students at her school and thanked her special friends who supported her in giving the speech. Despite her nervousness about giving the talk, she was even able to adlib a bit. Her goal of under 10 minutes was achieved!

I am extremely proud of her. I think I know, even more than she does, what a big deal this is! We have supported her always in her goal of educational excellence. I read a lot of her papers (I'm good at catching split infinitives and misplaced commas), but in the end, it was her drive to get good grades for herself alone that catapulted her to the top of her class.

I so wanted to take the iconic photo of caps being thrown in the air, but it didn't happen. Instead the graduates all waved the purple alumni T-shirts they were given with their diplomas!

After the ceremony, there was a reception on the Boston Common.
We had absolutely perfect weather.

It was fun to hang out with her friends and their parents.

Mom, Dad, & beautiful girl.

Out and Back Again

My dear friend Lori wrote and asked if all was well. After sending her a long note I thought I ought to post something here.

I've just been working out some personal issues.
I'm fine and all is well with my family!

We are off to the desert for Christmas.

My son's internship is out near Death Valley and since he wasn't coming home, we decided to go out and hang with him.

I promise to share all my fun things of Silver Bella and the antiquing trip home, and our holiday in sun, sand and cactus after the new year.

ps these photos were taken by my son. I think they are amazing!
correction, the desert photos were taken by my son.

More Bricks

Did you know sand & gravel yards have concrete piles?

Brick, concrete, pavers, etc all can be dumped for a fee.

However, if you want to take said brick, pavers, etc there is no cost.


We were able to salvage 50 of these stamped bricks.
The fancy brick is my favorite.

I found this cool, curved rock. It works great at the corner of the raised garden bed. The stamped bricks border the patio


The pathway from the front porch to where we park our cars.


The unexpected patio!
The bricks on top as waiting to be cut with the tile/brick saw.
The buckets hold stone dust.

I think it took my son an hour to get all the brick dust off the saw & table.

Covered in brick dust. He's usually a natural blond.
I was very sorry we don't have an outdoor shower, and one with hot & cold water. My son determined this much brick dust would play havoc with our drains, so he turned the hose on himself to rinse off.

For previous posts about this project, click here here, and here. I will share more pics of the finished path and patio (yes there are more!), but my son has asked for posts about bricks and I want to honor his request. He's off on a new adventure. I'll post about that soon too.
This is for you sweetie!

Brick Patio

Bricks have taken up most of my week.

When we started the project it was just going to be a path to the front porch. Then we amassed 1,200 bricks and decided to do more and brick in a patio.

The patio area set out.
Bricks were moved.

My oldest removing grass and weeds.

This is what happens when you stack bricks on one of those big folding tables! I knew it would happen, the table was old and had been sitting outside for a while. The look on my son's face when the table collapsed was priceless!