Tuesday, May 29, 2012

Here is not the stopping point . . .

. . . and that is what I realized a couple days ago.  I woke early with a real sense of dread -- like someone needed my help.  So I do what I always do in those circumstances -- I checked to make sure my son was breathing (he was home visiting), I called my daughter and tried not to sound frantic and asked her to call me back, and I began to pray.  Maybe prayer should have been first!  I also called a friend to pray with me.  It came to me to examine the term "stop" from a more spiritual basis.

Over the years things have happened and I have been stopped.  I will be going along and something happens, or a friend says something/tries to define me in ways I don't agree with, I won't correct them and wham!  It's like what runners describe as hitting the wall.  It's debilitating.  I've been feeling stopped lately.  A friend did recently define me in ways I didn't agree with.  A blog friend has stopped talking with me (and the awful thing is I don't know why, which really condemns me as a terrible person.  I mean, how can you tick someone off so much and not know what you did?).  A couple months ago neighbors let me know in no uncertain terms that I am the most selfish person they have ever known.  I know this last one isn't really true, but they did hammer on for more than 30 minutes and even called me back to share more of my faults with me.  And I thought we were friends. *sigh*   Humanly, this hasn't been a very good Spring!

 In the garden it's been a great Spring!

So when the call to prayer came, the topic of stopping seemed a good one to explore.  I found these ideas useful:  
Goodness and philanthropy begin with work and never stop working.
Our thoughts beget our actions; they make us what we are.
A deep sincerity is sure of success, for God takes care of it. 

I finished up the day feeling at peace.  I still don't know who needed my help that day.   I always think if I haven't had some big AH HA realization then nothing has happened/changed.  But I look around my life and notice the things I am doing again:  the worktables in my studio are now clear (and I know Sudsy Muffin did not come in while I was asleep); I'm gathering things to sell next weekend at the flea market; I water the kitchen garden my son planted for me, it hasn't died; I went to the movies; I wrote this post!

This is not my original work, I copied this from another blog, but I can't remember where or when.
No copyright infringement is intended.  Thanks for the fish!